I

Rise from my bed, I today as ever;
Warm are the tender rays of the dawn,
Cool is the touch of the earth,
Carpeted by grass, green and fresh with dew;
Caressing are the zephyrs flowing from the west;
Chirping the birds fly across the sky,
How beautiful it is a day, again.
Try as I many to drink in the freshness of the bright day
Fail these to dispel the mist of dismay, overwhelming the spirit.
Oh! Hatrd it is to believe, it’s me out here,
Numb is the mind, spirit of the heart, broken.
Glaring at an abyss I am, standing at the brink.
So wide is the chasm to get across, that hope has packed out in haste,
Of no avail seem to me any of the faculties that I can summon,
Perilously as I try to take a foot forward,
Chill runs down the spine. Quivering are all my limbs
And mind in quandary. Rise out of these smoldering ashes,
The determination and the faith, to conquer the impossible

The LIFE

jeevan sapno ka ek ghat..
jisaki tali me peeda ka ek chhidra..
boond boond kar tapak jati hai
sabhi aashayein
sabhi kalpanayein
khali ghat hansta hai
aur kehta hai
main yahi hoon tumhare liye
bas yahee!!!

11 rules of CoS Church of Satan

1.
Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2.
Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3.
When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4.
If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5.
Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6.
Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7.
Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8.
Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9.
Do not harm little children.

10.
Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11.
When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him

EVERY STEP!!

My walk

I was never going to put this one up. I still dont know why i have put it up.

This is about how i felt for about 5 minutes of my life. The moment i finished writing this, it was all over and i was fine.

Sometimes, the mind gets overthrown by things you wouldn't normally think of, most of which are the most horrible thoughts one could ever have...I'm not saying that it is exactly what happened for the 5 mins it took me to write this, but it's something like it.

Hope you like this one. I called it my walk for no apparent reason. It's not really the title. I just felt very unproductive at the time of given it a title.

So no title. Just writing...

-------------------

With every step I take

One more person I leave behind

With every person, a solid memory

And every memory, a newfound sorrow

A hood pulled over my head,

A piece of bread

In my pocket,

And eyes watching me

I slowly leave all I know and all I feel.

Old scars reappear, old wounds take form

Cutting through mind and body

Cutting to show

How much I had and left.

Every bite of bread makes me hungrier,

A sip of water drains my veins.

Hands tug at me

Hoping, praying, that I will stop

And turn around

And return home.

What home? I ask,

Their only answer is a cry, a wail.

I wonder who else will walk

Through this sorrowful place

Walk to seek loneliness

Walk to find an empty place

Now covered in tears

I had once shed

The cuts burn, the wounds bleed,

And every step makes me weaker.

More pain and more sorrow

Is all that there was in the past,

I will find a glorious place to live

By myself

So no one can hurt me

No one can make me cry anymore

And no one will know

Who I am

What I do

Whether I am crazy or sane

It won’t matter

I’ll be long gone before anyone knows

Or anyone finds out.

I still wonder who else would walk

Through this sorrowful place

Walk to seek loneliness

Walk to find emotionless space

Far in the distance

I see the darkness

And with every step I take

I can feel it inching closer.

I look back for the last time

At the eyes, the faces

I can still hear their cries

Their wails

Their prayers

Filled with human futility

I look at my hands,

My scarred hands,

My wounded body and wounded soul

I raise my fingers, touching my wet face

I can feel the cuts around my eyes

Burning my skin

More cuts cover my forehead

But no one else can see anything

All blind to what they put me through

Doesn’t matter, not anymore

Soon I’ll be on my own

I’ll be allowed to heal

Sanctity

Security

For my self, my soul

I can make emotions null and void

I won’t need them

No one else

Will accompany me through this

No one else

Will bear pain for me

No one else

Will want to come to this world, my world

I wonder who else will walk

Through this sorrowful place

Walk to seek loneliness

Walk to seek emotionless space

A world without a soul

A soul, except one

A world without pain

Without the warmth of the sun

Soon I’ll finally have

My own solitary space

No more pain, no more love,

And no more hate to face.

Mourn me if you wish

You will never see me again

Burn my memory if it pleases

Because you burned me down, my friend.!!!

Fade To black

Look, the blade glistens wet with blood
Crimson; vermillion; stains of scarlet
Can you hear the strangled screams
Fade to black.
Friendship's broken shards break through my skin
Let the life flow freely from my veins
Paling, dying, fading.
Shatter.!!!!

I want to live

i will hide my bruises,cover my wounds
and fix a happy face over the crushed skin
Be numb out of pain
Act dumb but in vain
When everything is stolen
How do u survive....?
When u hate urself
how do u carry on ur life
Feels like someone is pulling out my hair
Feels like i am hanging down a hook
Thats tearing my neck apart
When everything is broken
What`s she smiling for..?
When ur heart is bleeding would uknock on her door..?
With every passing day its getting more hunting
When evrythng is sin wats ur frotier..?
When there`s poisonto ur veins
Why life seems sotough??
In this hell`with t he pain
But i wanna live
With all the angst god all my wounds
but i wanna live
With this shrinking soul and melting years
With death just two steps near
I wanna live

dementia

Hatred.
I see it in your eyes,
Gradience of vermillion and black.
I scream; silence hold me now.
Illusions surround me,
I forsake my sanity.

Disturbance.
Pen dances on paper,
Splatter my writing with blood.
I hide; shadows embrace me now.
Voices taunt me,
Blind; I cannot see.

Eyes.
Draw a line across my face,
Slit my wrists with the page.
She laughs; disquietude consumes me now.
Others join her,
I conceal my anger.!!!

Rockers :D

Riders of the storm ,said morrison!Heroin killed him!

Rape me ,said kurt,his wife killed him!

Hendrix fucked too much and ate too little,,drugs got him!monika wuz the last german he fucked!

John Bonham was strong but he drank too much,"choked! DIED"

Lenon was a good man! too witty ,but got shot!was to happen!!

Kennedy was my favourite ,always fukked around but was perfect in the eyes!!

how many times did OZZY die??




Okey again i read it somewhr n really liked teh way it was written!:P

some of hindi shayri!

My own

Jab bhi rahta hoon tanha to lagta hai
yaado se aapki hamaree yaari hai
Dharati banke bahut ham tarase hai
Sawan ban barso tumhari baari hai!!


Ab tak shikayat naa huyee zindagi se hame
shayd yahee shikayat ho jindagi ko hamse!!


Bujha bujha ke jalaya ahi jindagi ne mujhe
Hansa hansa ke rulaya hai jindagi ne mujhe
uljha huva hoon main waqt ki sazisho me
Dushmano ki dosti aur dosto ki ranjisho me!!

Ujalo me dhundhke mujhe andhero me na bhatako
Andhero me ujala dhundh liya hai maine!!


and in last ths one

socha tha tukda tukda utha ke bana lunga jindagi
par pata nahi tha qayamat bhi roj roj aatee hai:-)!!

All apologies

And for one last time
I will apologize
For saying the things I have said
Indirectly to you
Through the poems that I have
Written and thoughts in my head
I have always thought you
Capable of more then it is
Possible for one to be
And my anger has often times
Taken control of me
And so I have written
Over and over again
The same poem
About why I was angry
And whom I thought you were
And until the death of my own thoughts
I’m prone to overreact
To silly situations
Or a busy night
Or a silly lie
And I forgive you
For everything you’ve never done
That I have thought
You have
And so for one last time
I apologize
For my mistakes
Though you have never known
They took place!!!!



this was inspired by the song all apologies by nirvana and ..this was written to apologize to someone

Friend

Somewhere along the way,
i guess i moved on.
I left behind the scars,
and wound began to heal.
and i rediscovered in me,
the capacity to once again feel.
Somewhere in the distance,
somewhere far behind,
I threw all of my sadness,
and found my peace of mind,
I traveled the long roads of despair
and very slowly slowly,
My heart began to repair
All the anger all the hurt
Have now far away been cast
i know this new Found happiness
May or may not last
But I am stronger now
I am more able to deal
with what future hold
Now that i hve dealt with you
Even though it has been a while
I pretty often Smile
and i kno in all the coming days
Some small part of me
Will hold on to u always

The tears Again!!!

So often they appear
Rolling down my face
I can't seem to hide them anymore
The slightest feeling
And they start to appear
From my left eye
The water trickles down my cheek
It shows my sorrow
And the emptiness behind my eyes
One day I hope the tears
Will be of joy and happiness
Instead of sorrow and pain.

tears!

Sometimes when I laugh
I tend to cry at the same time
These are tears of joy and happiness
Sometimes I laugh
To stop myself from crying
Sometimes I can't hide
What my tears are really saying
If I cry
I can not laugh
If I laugh
I can still cry

Alone

Alone is a 5 letter word
How can such a small word
Bring so much pain?
You drown your sorrows
In the bottom of a bottle
The pain will go away
But the emptiness grows larger

Are you really ever alone
Or are you just lonely?
Does time actually heal itself
Or is it something you must do?
Does beauty come with age?
No beauty is always with you
You just have to find it

People all stop and stare
For they like what they see
They see through your pain
Your emptiness, your loneliness
Take a look around you
There is always someone there
You should never feel alone.

The ostracized....Bihari way!!

Busy living life the Ostracized way.
The Ostracized...
one who has been shunted by the society,
one who nobody cares about,
one who nobody loves,
one who nobody wants to talk to,
one who is all alone in this huge world,
one who everyone crushes down,
one who everyone ridicules,
one who everyone insults,
and the one who loves living the shunted life,
the one who doesn't need anyone to take care of him,
the one who doesn't seek anyone's love,
the one who doesn't need someone else's shoulders to rest upon,
the one who is impossible to crush,
the one who sheds off everyone's ridicules,
the one who is not insulted upon insulting,
the one....The Ostracized.
the gifted one,
the chosen one.




last post was written by me itself n this post is fully copied from Bihari`s blog!!:P

The Ostracized

They ostracized me. I ran.
They ridiculed me. I cried.
They forgot about me. I fought.
They pushed me away. I died.
I spend most of my days reflecting
onn them.
I spend most of my days searching inside.
I retreat to that place. Where it's unharmed and pure.
I retreat to the inside. Where only I can be sure.