Sunday, May 20

EVERY STEP!!

My walk

I was never going to put this one up. I still dont know why i have put it up.
This is about how i felt for about 5 minutes of my life. The moment i finished writing this, it was all over and i was fine.
Sometimes, the mind gets overthrown by things you wouldn't normally think of, most of which are the most horrible thoughts one could ever have...I'm not saying that it is exactly what happened for the 5 mins it took me to write this, but it's something like it.
Hope you like this one. I called it my walk for no apparent reason. It's not really the title. I just felt very unproductive at the time of given it a title.
So no title. Just writing...
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With every step I take

One more person I leave behind

With every person, a solid memory

And every memory, a newfound sorrow

A hood pulled over my head,

A piece of bread

In my pocket,

And eyes watching me

I slowly leave all I know and all I feel.

Old scars reappear, old wounds take form

Cutting through mind and body

Cutting to show

How much I had and left.

Every bite of bread makes me hungrier,

A sip of water drains my veins.

Hands tug at me

Hoping, praying, that I will stop

And turn around

And return home.

What home? I ask,

Their only answer is a cry, a wail.

I wonder who else will walk

Through this sorrowful place

Walk to seek loneliness

Walk to find an empty place

Now covered in tears

I had once shed

The cuts burn, the wounds bleed,

And every step makes me weaker.

More pain and more sorrow

Is all that there was in the past,

I will find a glorious place to live

By myself

So no one can hurt me

No one can make me cry anymore

And no one will know

Who I am

What I do

Whether I am crazy or sane

It won’t matter

I’ll be long gone before anyone knows

Or anyone finds out.

I still wonder who else would walk

Through this sorrowful place

Walk to seek loneliness

Walk to find emotionless space

Far in the distance

I see the darkness

And with every step I take

I can feel it inching closer.

I look back for the last time

At the eyes, the faces

I can still hear their cries

Their wails

Their prayers

Filled with human futility

I look at my hands,

My scarred hands,

My wounded body and wounded soul

I raise my fingers, touching my wet face

I can feel the cuts around my eyes

Burning my skin

More cuts cover my forehead

But no one else can see anything

All blind to what they put me through

Doesn’t matter, not anymore

Soon I’ll be on my own

I’ll be allowed to heal

Sanctity

Security

For my self, my soul

I can make emotions null and void

I won’t need them

No one else

Will accompany me through this

No one else

Will bear pain for me

No one else

Will want to come to this world, my world

I wonder who else will walk

Through this sorrowful place

Walk to seek loneliness

Walk to seek emotionless space

A world without a soul

A soul, except one

A world without pain

Without the warmth of the sun

Soon I’ll finally have

My own solitary space

No more pain, no more love,

And no more hate to face.

Mourn me if you wish

You will never see me again

Burn my memory if it pleases

Because you burned me down, my friend.!!!





5 comments:

saint nothing! said...

i get this feeling that the more i know ya, i am knowin ya less, meena! :)
neways.. good stuff.. but too much pain n sorrow n sufferin n stuff.. u might wanna start writing something less heavy for the reader meena.. it wud be interesting to see ya do that sorta stuff.. :)

Saurabh Harsh said...

bahut lambi hai mujhse nahi padhi gayi..short mein aak ebata jana room mein kabhi

Prachi Mishra said...

hey i cant stop commenting on ur stuff...the morbid element freaks me out but the way u write really rocks...

Psychotic Philosopher said...

@ saint nothing

The less u know me is better :P

@Bihar
kat le salle

@Prachi

morid element..do i really hv those in my poems?aniwaj thnks:-)

shobu.. said...

i know u say it over n over again that u aren't very good at english but if somebody was to read this, then no one would actually believe that.
wat can i say i know it has come straight from ur heart n u know wat who ever reads this, is gonna feel every bit of emotion present in there!!!!!!