People. People you love, people you hate, people who are just there. They'll always be everywhere and there's nothing you can do about it.
You learn to live with people. You learn to live without them. People you love. People you love so much it makes you sick. People you rely on. People you need. You need people. Everyone needs people. You don't need the restrictions and judgements of society though.
Limitations people put on you. It's your choice whether you will fit their mould or completely destroy it. Will you be the person they shape, someone with your very owen barcode that marks you as "society", or will you be a fleeting image of what people should be; unrestricted, unrestrained, untamable by silly views that tape you down to the chopping vlock to be carved into a neat little box of shallow, biggoted opinions? Will you fly? Will you fall?
The crash and burn. When you realise that everything you've ever been was made to mock the big picture. That you never really were yourself. When people you can't live without become people you must live without. When you miss someone so much it makes you even sicker. When all of the little wounds in you heart join togther as one huge, gaping hole that reveals just how shallow you really are. An ache so intense you forget to live. You forget about people, you forget about reason. You forget about life.
Falling deeper. People forget you, people ignore you, people hate you. You eyes are clouded by that mould you once tried so hard to oblitorate. Your barcode is showing through... And it hurts so much that you just let it. You surrender before it's too late, but it doesn't make it any better. It still hurts. Your gaping hole is getting bigger because you've betrayed yourself to people.
Then, there's that moment. The moment when you connect your mouth and your mind, and everything freeflows in a monsterous tidal wave that engulfs your very soul and fills up that gaping mess of a heart. It burns away all the pain and insecurity and fear away like salt water. It hits people. It swallows some people, it bowls some people over, it merely washes over some people. But it effects people.
Then there is that brief moment when you are so empty that you can't speak, yet parts of you are so full that you feel like a child again. It's the transition between the states of living and being.
Open your eyes. Go on. Really open your eyes. No more pretend. Tell me what you see. The faces of the people who were behind you the whole time, but you were just too sick to turn around? Now you can see them all with a cleared vision. The poeple who were always holding your hand, the people who pushed you along, and the people who were following you, whispering "I Love You" in your ear the whole time.
Louder than words, emotions roar through your veigns, swallowing you up. SOme good ones, some bad ones. But now you have people again.
People. People you love, people you hate people who are just there. People are everywhere, yet sometimes they are nowhere to be found. People you can't live without. People you love so muchy it aches.
Maybe you can understand how I felt. Maybe it's beyond your comprehension. Maybe you've been out there in the warground like me. But, just remember this. Keep breathing, keep living, keep being. Let the experiance make you a better person. Let it help you understand other people. Let it help you grow. Nothing is worth giving up on. Nothing can destroy who you are.
Sunday, November 30
People. Life.
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1 comment:
lity o life,every one of us go through put into words so wonderfully.....
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