iSmile

And I smile forced to watch them and embrace
Holding my truest feelings in careful check
Closing doors in my mind locking them tight shut
feelings shuttered behind masks elaborate facade

A heart breaking beneath the elaborate facade
underneath the careful masquerade and illusion
spilling congratulations carefully rehearsed
Acting the bright smile to hide the cracking inside

Laughter bubbling up to hide inside sorrow
Raising glasses and calling to the couple
Inside I am tortured being made to listen
idle chatter about how happy they are

Fraudulently agreeing enthusiastically
Nodding they make a picture perfect pair
The drink tasteless in the glass I raise to toast
As the lie leaves my lips another piece of me dies

Tears trails show I can’t hide them
I fake my claim for tears of joy this time
Hugging both tightly pulled close arms lingering
Perhaps about one just a fraction longer

For the sake of a friendships remain silent
vow to say nothing but well wishes
No words on a concealed broken heart
Eyes only for each other I’m one in the crowd

Love being loved in the arms of another
Every touch and glance between them
Saccharine Sweet but a knife wound
Every kiss - hidden agony the blade twists

Still I smile…